Green eggs and ham



Image credit: Dr. Seuss wiki

 F-ing hell: it’s TfL!  I do not like that TfL...

Do you like commuting hell?

I do not like it, TfL: I do not like commuting hell.

Would you like it here?  Or there?

I would not like it here or there.  I would not like it anywhere.  I do not like commuting hell: I do not like it TfL.

Would you like it on a train?  Would you like it in the rain?

I would not like it on a train.  I would not like it in the rain.  I would not like it here or there.  I would not like it anywhere.  I do not like commuting hell: I do not like it TfL!

Would you like it on a boat?  Or because of swans that float?

Not on a boat; not because of swans (I hope).  Not on a train, and not in the rain.  I would not like it here or there, I would not like it anywhere.  I do not like commuting hell: I do not like it TfL!

You may have it sans reprieve.  You may have it due to leaves.  You may have it on a bus.  You may have it while you rush.

Not on a bus, not while I rush.  Because of leaves?  I can’t conceive!  I do not want it on a boat, due to swans and things that float.  I do not want it on a train, I do not want it in the rain.  I do not want it here or there.  I do not want it ANYWHERE.  I do not want commuting hell: I do not want it TfL!

Say!  In the dark?  On a tube in the dark!  Would you like it in the dark?

I would not like it in the dark.

What about if there’s a strike?  Would you still not like it on your bike?

I would not like it on my bike, I could not like it in a strike.  Not in the dark, not on a bus.  I do not like it when I rush.  Because of leaves?  Come on: Jeez!  I do not want it on a boat, due to swans and things that float.  I do not want it on a train, I do not want it in the rain.  I do not want it here or there.  I do not want it ANYWHERE.  I do not want commuting hell: I do not want it TfL!

Would you like it in a car?  Traffic jams, traffic jams: here they are!

I would not like it in a car.

Would you like engineering works?

I think poor planning makes you jerks.  I would not like it in a car (your road service is just sub-par), I would not like it on my bike, I could not like it in a strike.  I do not like it on a bus.  I do not like it when I rush.  I do not want it on a boat, or due to swans (just get your coat).  I do not want it on a train, I do not want it in the rain.  I do not want it here or there.  I do not want it ANYWHERE.  Because of leaves?  Listen, please!  I do not want commuting hell: I do not like it TfL.

If service we must regulate?

That just makes everybody late.

Fault might be found with tube train doors...

Don’t use that one, I implore!  To regulate makes us all late.  I think poor planning makes you jerks, ‘specially with your massive perks!  I do not like it on my bike, I would not like it my car (with road conditions what they are).  Not in a strike, not on a bus, not when my hike becomes a rush.  I do not want it on a boat, or due to swan (or pig or goat).  I do not want it on a train, I do not want it in the rain.  I do not want it here or there.  I do not want it ANYWHERE.  Because of leaves I stand and freeze?  I do not want commuting hell: I do not like it TfL.

Signal Failure, I don’t know, fire in the depths below?  Flood, suspension, broken stairs?  Understaffing?  Christ, who cares!  Driver changes, too-large crowds, red signals on the underground.  Security and illness next: no end to how my journey’s hexed!  Hear me now and hear me well: I do not like commuting hell!

You do not like it, so you say, but try it: try it and you may!  Try it and you may I say!

Try it and I may, you say?  I ‘try it’ EVERY SINGLE DAY! A little leaf can cause such grief?  Faulty doors: I know the score.  Keep your perks, you stupid jerks, just give me a train that works!  To regulate makes us all late.  I do not like it on my bike, I would not like it my car (though prefer it to your trains by far).  Not in a strike, not on a bus, not when my hike becomes a rush.  I do not want it on a boat, or due to swan (or pig or goat).  I do not want it on a train, I do not want it in the rain.  I do not want it here or there.  I do not want it ANYWHERE. 

I do not want commuting hell: I DO NOT LIKE IT TfL.